Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Two words: blizzard sex
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
