you didnt know i had herpes?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
