So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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