Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Just high enough for therapy.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
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