I forgot how hot balto sounded
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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