you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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