It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
