One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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