Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
