He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
