the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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