that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I just forgot I was standing up.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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