ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
