Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
