google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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