you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
