We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
PANTIES FOUND
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