I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
