I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
