They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
