i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
