Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
