So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Panties = found
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