So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
