Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
