I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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