I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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