After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
