If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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