I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
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