So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
