Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
its not stalking. its research.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
did i walk over a car last night?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
