my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
