When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
