Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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