I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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