Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
