Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Randomize
