i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
