I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
