don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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