And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
