I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize