She is in my trunk
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
