I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
