I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
