That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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