C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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