Fuck appropriateness.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize