the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
