Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize