Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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