Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My cat gives me a boner
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
