she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
