great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
