I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
