I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize