How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
