It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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