she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
