sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
