ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
