So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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