i just had sex bonerless
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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