pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I love having hate sex.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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