so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
