OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
