My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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