Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
