You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize