Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
