everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
