I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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