our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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