Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
